Reply to Is pride really worth losing your family?

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Reply to "Is pride really worth losing your family?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That is how some parents are. She doesn’t think parents apologize. In her mind, she’s thinking just what you are - why is my son so stubborn that he can’t just get over this? Gosh, he’s so sensitive and he and his wife make a big deal about everything. I can’t believe he’s willing to lose his mother over this.

Not agreeing with her! But this is what she’s thinking. My mother is similar and this is exactly what she thinks. [/quote]
OP’s MIL FAFO’d! It’s funny, but I’ll be here long after DH’s 70+ mother will. It makes me think of Taylor Swift’s Father Figure: “You made a deal with this devil, turns out my d***’s bigger!”[/quote]
This is such a weird response to me. Estrangement is sad. It’s sad that some people treat other family abusively and are unwilling/unable to stop. It’s sad that some people jump to estrangement over things that are manageable. Sometimes it’s necessary but you can’t really claim the high ground when you’re making gross statements like this.[/quote]

You consistently trivialize the reasons for estrangement. I don't know a single person who is estranged over something trivial. You are intentionally deceptive. Get therapy for yourself. [/quote]

Then why are they asking for a simple apology for all to be forgiven and access to grandkids restored? Doesn’t sound like a serious problem it sounds like one person trying to control another. [/quote]

Then why can't she just apologize instead of wanting to win at any cost?[/quote]

Because the power struggle is gross and sounds toxic. Apologize for what? If it wasn’t that bad that an apology would smooth it over then it wasn’t that bad in the first place.[/quote]

I already posted this upthread, but normal people apologize reflexivley when they hurt someone, even if it's accidental or they have no idea why the person is hurt. "I'm so sorry, that must have been hurtful and I did not mean that." "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, that was not my intention" etc. These are just normal healthy responses even if they're lies (ie, even if they DID mean what they said or mean to be  hurtful). Apologies are the grease we all need to keep the wheels moving. Get used to it.[/quote]

But then the whining about the other person “winning” because they don’t accept your terms. You sound nuts.[/quote]

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