Reply to Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?

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[quote=Anonymous]Did he treat you badly as a child?  I don’t mean actual abuse but not great treatment?

I had few issues with my parents in my 20s and 30s, but once I had children I began to despise my mother. I think she was terrible and I find her behavior strange. She didn’t treat me well at all. I didn’t figure out any of this until I got older.

Because of how she treated me, I dislike her deep down and her presence triggers me. I feel awful about it. It makes me feel like a horrible person.

Here’s an example of her behavior. Every night she served a salad with a radish and would bully and yell at me until I ate the radish. This went on for years. Not a huge deal, really, but now that I have kids I think this is so odd. I was an adventurous healthy eater and one of the few things I disliked was a radish. But she didn’t care. I was going to eat that radish! I hadn’t thought about this in years or maybe ever, until I had kids and she started treating them similarly. I observed the tone of voice, the smug attitude and the way she seemed to get off on making a seven year old eat a certain food. Now I can’t stand her. Couldn’t she see how she was making the seven year old feel, and how she made me feel?  My entire childhood was like this and I am thankful there was no actual abuse, but I still dislike her.

But overall, she’s probably not that bad?

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