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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Any other women quiet quitting your marriage? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m talking about emotionally detaching and reducing effort in the marriage to the bare minimum. I’m burnt out from a full-time job and being the default parent. At the end of the day, my kids, clients, and husband take everything I have to give, leaving nothing for me. I’m sick of all his “work” conferences, dinners, and pleasure trips while I’m breaking my back at work and at home. I’m just done. He adds no value to my life anymore. I’m calendaring my own solo bucket-list trips this year. I’m not communicating with him outside of necessary parenting. I’m dropping the rope on anything related to his family. I’m investing my time and income in myself, my kids, and my friendships. He gets nothing from me. How long can this last? Long enough to finish raising kids? I won’t exactly be sad if it leads to divorce, so fear of divorce is not motivating me to keep trying. [/quote] You sound passive-aggressive. That doesn’t solve any issues.[/quote] How is self-care passive-aggressive? [/quote] DP - By definition "quiet" anything is passive aggressive. Direct aggressive is confronting with: "Henceforth X is what's happening, because Y and therefore Z". Announcing to the anonymous internet you're "quitting" is passive weak sauce bullshit. You brought children into the world with a non-parent. Take full responsibility. Now.[/quote] Nope, incorrect. If you previously used to wipe down the coffee machine at work because it was gross and you didn't want to touch it, sure it's a choice. If you choose to stop wiping down the coffee machine at work and just get coffee elsewhere, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra task. You seem really confused about what this phrase means. [/quote] Nope, incorrect. If a man previously used to work hard to fund extras like international vacations, a large house, and new luxury cars, sure it's a choice. If he chooses to stop funding extras and instead moves the family to a modest house with one vacation per year at Myrtle Beach and two Honda Accords, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra. You seem really confused about what these men are really offering, and what these wives actually offer in return.[/quote] DP. Are we not reading the same thread? If a man doesn’t want to drive a luxury car or take a luxury vacation and instead wants to spend more time with his family, that seems like he is actually doing the extra. He was not doing the extra when he was spending all of his time and money on his work and special possessions and hobbies. This is literally what the OP and others are complaining about. [/quote] Dependent spouses (only some, not all by any means) talk out both sides of their mouths. They'll criticize a man ENDLESSLY for all that extra time at work, not enough time with the family, etc. But then if he steps back and they have to dial down the lifestyle, she is bitter that she has to drive an average car, or miss out on a trip, etc. This is very much a "pick a lane" situation. I think intuitively, a lot of men know they'll get the same browbeating either way, so might as well have the money.[/quote] Ok, so you just hate women and wanted an excuse to complain about them. This has nothing to do with OP, or this thread. You're derailing OPs thread simply to be misogynistic. [/quote]
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