Reply to Any other women quiet quitting your marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In reading these posts I see a lot of valid frustrations, but I also see a total lack of empathy for your partner’s experience.  Resentments are building and love is eroding, but the underlying view is I am entitled to more, their life is separate and better than mine.  If you are keeping score in a marriage than you are the reason for the disconnect, nothing your partner says or does will ever even the score because only one person decides what counts and the number of points on the board.   Stop thinking they are the enemy and believe they are your partner in a situation where both of you are feeling unappreciated, unheard and undervalued.   This might help you fall in love again or at least start to respect each other a little bit more.

- In most of the posts, there is an underlying belief seems to be that the spouse can fix the angst they feel about life. They don’t care if they don’t change how things are, but the issue seems like perspective on life has changed from one person while the offending spouse is holding steady hoping it will change back.   Not defending them, but when emotions lead, everyone loses. 
- Their work is seen as a vacation from the family responsibilities, not as an investment in the family.  They may feel that the current challenges are temporary and if they stay committed to the long term goals all will work out in the end.[/quote]

But quiet quitting isn't about keeping score. It's about taking care of yourself and disengaging from other people's emotional responses. [/quote]

Getting to the point of passive aggressively quiet quitting is about years of keeping score.[/quote]
You’re projecting. She isn’t passive aggressively doing anything. She’s just NOT doing things. [b]Just because I don’t note my MILs birthday in my calendar, but a cad, ship for a gift, remind the kids to sign the card, send both ahead of time, remind DH the day of to call her etc etc isn’t being passive aggressive. It’s just… not doing all that. [/b]Your immediate jump to someone not performing domestic duties for you as “passive aggressive” and “score keeping” says more about how you treat your own spouse than OP. [/quote]

What you describe was never your responsibility anyway. Never. You assigned yourself this responsibility. Then you un-assigned yourself responsibility, for something that was never your business.

"I'm NOT doing the thing I was never obligated to do!"

Great. You're liberating yourself from the burdens you placed on yourself. Congratulations. You are where you should be, only angrier and more resentful. [/quote]
Either way, it’s not passive aggressive and it’s a chore (like 10 in this one case) lifted off OPs shoulders. Trying to deride it as passive aggressive or score keeping is inappropriate and incorrect. If the end result is the same (ie self imposed restriction now liberated from), how can you say that’s a bad thing for op? Or did you just feel like insulting random women on the internet today?[/quote]

It's not a bad thing to stop doing something you were never supposed to be doing in the first place.

It's a bad thing if you are not blaming yourself for your self-imposed burden that bothers you. That's the example you provided. [/quote]
Ok, but neither of those are passive aggressive soo... [/quote]

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