Reply to Question for anxious parents: what are you truly afraid of?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Peer group matters a lot. Obviously, there are smart kids at every university, but constantly being surrounded by driven & accomplished peers breeds a natural desire to excel and succeed. And as parents, we all want our children to succeed, no matter how we individually define 'success'; for me, it's defined by how my kid sees it, and they want to aim for an elite university.[/quote]

Does it?  My kid is at a T25 and has found all of the “perfect” kids annoying.  She feels they are more focused on getting the club position or the good grade than the experience.  They are afraid to not be perfect. She opted out of many of the clubs an major filled with these folks and has chose a path that gives her the experience she wants and surrounds herself with a great peer group (who are not the perfect top of the class kids).

Also, another thing she has noticed is that the “perfect” kids cheat (a lot).  [/quote]

First two at ivies, the third likely heading to similar, already in at one T25.
The bottom-half kids are the likely ones to try to cheat, because they feel inferior to the top kids and can get desperate. With in-person tests on paper, long-answer problem style, cheating has been reduced to very rare, in stem at least. Even humanities has more in person written essays these days.
The top-quarter "perfect" ones often do it all: volunteer/lead a club, get the research, get the selective summer job, still have 3.9+ in difficult majors too. Many of them keep up the intensity and discipline because their peers do. Nothing wrong with using motivated peers to push yourself to be your best!

[/quote] That’s sounds great in theory except 75% of students admit to some form of cheating so your so called bottom half are not alone.[/quote]

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