Reply to single income family/ SAHM major disadvantage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a gen z son, recent college grad who landed a great job, but lives at home while he invests al his income he would otherwise spend on housing/commute/ utilities (we live 2 miles from his job). He is adamant that he only marries someone who put their education to work and earns an income. I think this generation (z) is acutely aware that it’s unrealistic in today’s economy to not have all hands on deck when raising a family. [/quote]

I understand this attitude and largely agree with it, but I also think a lot of ambitious young people do not (and literally cannot) understand how significantly an infant/toddler will upend one’s working life and how differential these impacts are for women vs. men. Most modern workplace are still extremely hostile to breastfeeding and recovering new mothers.

I have a friend who was in a dual income household until they had their second kid - she was working in a rundown hospital, shuttling kids to and from daycares, lugging and rinsing out pumping equipment to use in a dark office room with a door that didn’t adequately lock, etc. After many open discussions she and her husband mutually agreed to her staying home for the next few years and then reevaluating later. She is much happier now. I wouldn’t want to be with a partner who rigidly demanded that I stay at an untenable job - I think it just has to be an ongoing open conversation and both parties have to be transparent and respectful of each other’s contributions.[/quote]
How pathetic. Instead of stepping up to do more around the home and with childcare, he told her to quit her job and do [i]everything[/i]? F***ing yikes. [/quote]

That is not the story. They were both stepping up around the house; her job was rigid and unforgiving about her needing to pump breast milk, needing more flexible hours, etc.

I’m not saying it’s fair that women are the ones who often end up being semi-forced out (though in this case they both agreed to this arrangement); I’m just saying, it’s easy to think you’ll be able to keep going full throttle at a career post-kids until you actually are living it, and it’s important for both parties to be flexible and communicative[/quote]

My kids are in their 20s now, and my husband and I, along with many (not all) of our friends, went "full throttle" for 21 years while we had kids at home. Yes you have to be flexible and communicative but it's easier than ever for both spouses to do meaningful and lucrative full time work.
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