Reply to Sibling Estrangement

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When a family member fades out and goes no contact, it's speaking a very loud truth to the family member(s). Nobody does this on a whim, nobody wakes up and wedges going no contact with family between a grocery run and a manicure. It is a very long, deliberative process over many years (decades, even) [b]where the family member(s) are offering many chances to change their behavior, admit past wrongdoings, and become better, kinder people. But they do not, they continue in the same, old patterns that become intolerable.[/b] The person who goes no contact was treated badly for decades and when she complained about this treatment was told to be the bigger person. But there comes a day when you stop trying to be the bigger person and it's better for you to move on and go no contact. There isn't an explanation as to why forthcoming because the family member going no contact knows these family members will never change. Any explanation is wasted breath.[/quote]

Disagree with the part where multiple chances are offered to change.  In the sibling estrangement in my family, nothing was ever talked about or warned to the other sibling about their behavior.   Siblings were fairly close for almost two decades in adulthood, then all of a sudden one sibling decided to blame the other for all their mental health issues and inability to function as an adult. Said it stemmed from sibling bullying in childhood/teen years.  I have no clue what really went on between these two siblings back then, but there certainly was no warning about it happening and no specific examples cited or opportunity for the accused sibling to even admit they did anything or be willing to change.  It was just a letter they no longer wanted to be in contact bc of childhood bullying.  I’m not taking sides on the issue, just saying it can be sprung on someone with really no warning at all.  [/quote]

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