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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have 3 DCs- two girls and a boy. We just finished paying for college and we are now putting 1/2 the money aside for their ‘wedding’ fund. [b]It will be their choice on how they use this money, wedding/ honeymoon or down payment.[/b] 
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I am struggling a bit with whether I should just give them a set amount when they turn certain age and then have them decide how they want to spend it, or whether I should pay for their weddings. These are a bit different things. For example, a larger wedding means that more of my family will be invited, and I don't want to discourage it by providing a set amount. So at least at this point, I am thinking that I will pay for a (reasonable) wedding and then give each a set amount to start their adult lives. [/quote]

This interesting thing about this approach is the assumption that you will have input over the guest list. That’s fine and many parents do that. However I would view a wedding as the purview of the adults getting married. [/quote]

+1000

Now, our kids are nowhere near the "getting married" point.  But we fully recognize that their weddings are for them.  We will fund whatever they want (we can afford it) within reason (not paying for 200 people to attend a destination wedding, whereby we are paying for airfares/hotels/meals/etc for everyone, but will pay for the wedding wherever they want it) 
Husband comes from a large family, and culture where weddings are typically about showing off to your friends and family (been to several 500+ person weddings on that side in the last 30+ years).  We know our kids do not want anything like that, and we won't make them invite relatives they don't know (there are A LOT) or our friends they do not know.  We only request that we get to invite a few friends (thinking 14-20, and all of those friends are also well known/friends of our kids and our kids are friends with their kids).  But no, we don't need to invite our colleagues whom our kids barely know.  It's a day about our kids, not us.

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