Reply to Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone decent would have emailed/texted/called in the AM wishing her a Happy Birthday and making some plans.  Even if it was just getting a cake and going to her house or them coming to you.[/quote]

Why are you so obsessed with this idea of daughters-in-law dancing attendance with cake? How often do you deliver cake to your daughter-in-law or son-in-law? [/quote]

I don't understand showing up with cake for an adult.  [/quote]
We do cakes for all our adult birthdays. DH's sister always makes him a chocolate cake with chocolate icing using their mother's recipe. I usually bring a cake for her husband's birthday, because SIL is cooking the birthday dinner and his favorite is white cake with white icing made by the local bakery.

DH gets my cake, which is cheesecake with strawberries. A close family friend of ours who we is a really good baker asks the birthday person for their preference, which is often Hummingbird Cake. If the adult kids of ours are local, they also get to choose a cake. We either meet at a restaurant or someone cooks, but cakes are just a thing for all of us after dinner as a way to celebrate the person because we don't do gifts for adults. However, if my MIL were alive, we would probably bring her flowers too.

I mentioned a cake in an above post, but someone else also mentioned cake, but we are not the same person, and we are not "obsessed with the DIL planning the cake.

A PP did correct me and say did I mean the husband would have the kids bake a cake for Grandma, and yes, that's a good point. But the DW made the original post and it sounded like she had some days free to cart the kids around while DH was working, but that's the only time I mentioned cake until this post.[/quote]

Your husband buys you a cake. FIL can do the same for his wife. Her feelings are not OPs responsibility.[/quote]

No, its both of their responsibility.  Who ever does the buying.  Why are people so set not to do anything kind for each other?  I couldn't imagine telling my husband his mom, his problem.[/quote]

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