Reply to Parents who are overwhelmed with one or two kids

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Parents who are overwhelmed with one or two kids "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.[/quote]

Yikes.  WHY? [/quote]

We’re religious.[/quote]

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.  [/quote]

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.[/quote]

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.[/quote]

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.[/quote]

What do you consider 1-1 time?   Whose helping?   [/quote]

We take the kids out individually 1-1.

We have nannies, housekeeper, a chef, and my MIL also helps us a lot.[/quote]

You said earlier that you and DH do all the childcare. Why do you have nannies?[/quote]

Our nannies mainly help with logistics—especially driving. Six of our kids attend four different schools, so it’s a lot of driving. They also help with overlapping schedules, travel, babysitting and things that nannies help families with less kids. So we have time and can focus on the kids themselves.

Our chef comes a couple of times a week, our housekeeper is a lifesaver, and my MIL helps because she genuinely wants to, which we really appreciate. 
We do everything else.
[/quote]

What exactly do you do?  You are not parenting these kids.  Be real?  Those of us who parent are driving our own kids, feeding our own kids, cleaning our own house and doing it with no help.  Not even comparable.

How much time can you realistically spend with 8 kids each day?  And, how much are you when you have multiple nannies, MIL and more.[/quote]

Help allows us to focus on our kids, not replace parenting. For example, we’re currently on vacation in Australia and are spending quality time with our children every day in ways they like. Support handles logistics so we can actually be present and engaged with them or else we’d be really stressed out. We also build in regular one-on-one time in everyday ways (things average families do)—running errands with one or two kids at a time, going on walks, or taking a child to the park. Our kids are happy and healthy and aren’t missing anything.
[/quote]

You aren’t parenting or spending much time with your kids.  Take all the help away and let us know what real parenting is.

They are missing a lot. [/quote]

Parenting doesn’t have to be being in the kitchen all day or constantly cleaning up messes. That takes away from the joy of parenting.

Families with far less kids often have help similar the help we have, so this isn’t unique to larger families. And considering how large my family of origin is, I don’t believe we’re in huge family territory yet either.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics