Reply to I feel like I won the parenting wars

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[quote=Anonymous]If you are looking for external validation through your kids college admissions to known whether or not you “won” or were successful as a parent, keeping a ledger where a successful admissions wipes out a parenting mistake (like your kids drinking) then you probably have a really harsh inner critic and a fairly anxious lifestyle. When people are saying to you “none of this is normal” or “this doesn’t sound right” this is what they are reacting to. Ideally you would be supportive of yourself and your efforts and you would feel like “I have done my best and also really enjoyed most of being a  parent and I wish my child the best as he or she begins this new chapter.” I think it’s the asset/ledger framing that some of us are reacting to and I am saying this as someone who only got significant treatment for my undiagnosed anxiety after my kids were older. I am worried that OP sounds like she judges herself pretty harshly and is unkind to herself. This whole framing is somewhat worrying actually. [/quote]

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