Reply to I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?

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Reply to "I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Above poster is probably one of these types and a big thing I notice about them is they have no insecurity or humility whatsoever. Everything in their lives is perfect. Perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect house. If your life isn't perfect, you went wrong somewhere and you bring negative energy.
I think of it as being real! Nobody is in jail or anything but my family and house are far from perfect.[/quote]

Everyone has insecurities. [/quote]

No, they truly don't.
I was attempting friendship with one of these a while back and every conversation collapsed because of this.
"Mikeys not very athletic so I'm trying to encourage x and y. He said recess has been kind of a struggle." "That's strange. All my kids are super sporty, because we encourage being active in our family." I literally just said that we encourage that too!
"I'm going crazy with my kitchen remodel, the contractor did x and y." "I'm so glad we made sure to buy a beautifully maintained house so we never had to worry about that. My kitchen is amazing."[/quote]

This personality is awful and I am sorry you are dealing with it. It drives me nuts when people can't have a conversation here someone talks about something they are struggling with because they have to turn it into a competition. It's incredibly frustrating.

But these people DO have insecurities, and this tendency reveals them. Someone who really had no insecurities wouldn't feel the need to one-up in this way. They would be able to listen to you talking about your son's challenges or vent about a contractor and find a way to validate or relate. Even if they couldn't identify with that specific issue, they could use empathy to say "that sounds challenging, I feel like we went through something similar when Sarah changed schools and it took a while for her to make new friends. Sounds like you guys are doing the right things though." But that kind of listening, empathizing, and reflecting requires someone who is comfortable in themselves and not constantly trying to prove they are better than others.

They have insecurities, they just express them in a dysfunctional, anti-social way.[/quote]

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