Reply to Can I be honest? I don’t care much about my friends kids college announcements

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love seeing them.  This is so weird.  I have two in college about to graduate and I still love seeing where kids land. [/quote]

Why?  Why do you care?  Why do you think it matters at all?  Especially if it's not your kid?  I'm genuinely curious.[/quote]

This is pretty sad.  How can the idea of pleasure over your friends achievements be such a foreign concept? [/quote]

DP.
Here’s the thing. Pleasure is great but you’re being dishonest if you don’t admit that there’s a huge element of narcissistic bragging at play for many parents, and I think that’s what irks some of us. As example, my friends son struggled in high school and when he got into college, I was overjoyed for him. Same with another friend’s dc who worked his butt off in high school, juggling academics and sports, and was recruited at a D1. Same for a friends son who got into Yale who she worried about socially as a kid. These are otherwise humble families. But in contrast, I know some people who have really taken to SM to brag about vacations, other ‘cool’ things they’re doing, their parties, their husbands love letter to them, their new pricey car, etc and yes, those people irk me. I stopped following them on SM ages ago, but those are the same ones who make announcements in other ways to ensure no one missed their latest brag. [/quote]

Ok, for real, you are exactly the type of poster I am curious to get an answer from. I'm trying not to judge but I honestly can't understand why so many people have this view, and yet are on social media. Most of social media seems to be about sharing the (mostly good) things in your life. If posts about vacations, parties, new cars, college acceptances etc. all bother you as "narcissistic bragging," then what exactly do you like to see on your social media feed from your friends and acquaintances? Is it only acceptable to share about your struggles, and if you have enough struggles, then it is okay to share good news now and then?[/quote]

I’m not on social media much. But when I am, I like people who are funny and thoughtful, and yes, there can be updates but they feel more organic and normal. Some good, some ok/bad. In contrast, there are some people who just seem like attention whores, who want everyone to know how cool/special/fun they are, and social media has brought out the worst in them. They’re the ones who I typically stopped following ages ago, but some of them want to make sure I know blah blah so will find other ways to blast their news. I suspect they’re the insecure ones, but who knows? Also, as someone said above, they’re not my friends and maybe that’s true. If I only hear from you when you want to brag about something, yes, I guess that doesn’t feel like a friendship. [/quote]

Well, that is interesting. I am an introvert who seldom posts anything, but when I do, it is usually to share something I am either really proud of or really excited about, such as a vacation, or when I am especially proud of my kid. And I now realize that this probably annoys a lot of people on my feed, but I don't feel witty enough to  share mundane news in any entertaining way. Nor do I feel comfortable sharing our family struggles. So I am way more likely to blast that my kid won the county spelling bee than when my kid almost died of illness in preschool. I share vacation pics because I love traveling and I also love to see where other people go for ideas. I like seeing where friends' kids land for college and am happy for them. If this kind of stuff is off limits, I guess I would social media a bit dry, and I do like social media because it lets me feel somewhat connected to former school friends, neighbors, etc. that I don't keep in touch with much otherwise but am still interested in. [/quote]

Your friends understand you, though.  None of this will be new to them and a rare post from you will be valued as a reflection of something personally important.  Those posts would only annoy a lot of people in your thread if you fill your thread with strangers, and it doesn't sound like you've filled your social media feed that way.[/quote]

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