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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I’m sorry this happened to you. It happened to me too - although it wasn’t AMP it was sex with prostitutes while on overseas assignment.

The minute I found out about it, I instantly was no longer attracted to now exDH.  To do such a thing, risked his employment if he had been found out, put me at risk for STDs (in fact, the way I found out was a medical history form mailed home by his retiring practitioner that detailed his visit for her
Herpes testing and detailed prostitution use), made our marriage built on a foundation of lies, and generally reflected his deep disrespect for women which he tried to cover by being a “good guy” in many respects. The “good guy” was a cover for his sociopathic subterfuges.

Others have said that they “wouldn’t blow up a marriage” over AMP, but it’s actually my DH who blew up the marriage.  My decision to end the marriage was simply a reflection of the unilaterally changed terms of the marriage. I thought a lot about what I would tell my daughter if she came to me and asked what to do in a similar situation. I absolutely would tell her to leave the marriage ASAP.  If I would tell her to do that, why would I not treat myself in the same way? How could I tell her to leave if I was not willing to do it myself?  I also did not want to model to my son that this was an acceptable way to treat women - neither the prostitute nor the wife.

FWIW, as I was leaving, it became clear that sex worker use was only the tip of a very large set of hidden pathologies. And, it’s also true that it turns out that a guy who would do that is also not going to be a good father in many ways.

As the saying goes …. When people tell you who they are, listen to them. [/quote]

Blowing up a marriage over HJs is asinine. There really no other way about it. [/quote]

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