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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I believe the last update I gave DCUM was that [b]soon to be ex husband moved out in October[/b]. He moved a couple blocks away, we put a lot of effort into a smooth and cohesive transition for the kids. Kids have been thriving 90%, our 7yo has started to get some anxiety about going back to school again. I don't thin it's divorce related, but on the radar none the less.

Then in June he got a DUI. He is going to lose his license for 9 months beginning in November. This is costing a lot of money and going to force a restructuring of driving logistics for the kids. He will apply for a permit to drive them to/from school, but I do not want them to all of a sudden not be able to do activities, playdates, outings, etc.

I was justttt starting to wrap my brain around options for that. He has not drank since the dui, upped his therapy to twice a week, started running everyday, became more communicative with me, his family/friends and generally spent this summer getting his sh-t together.

He just called me sobbing that he got laid off this morning. He made $200k, I just got a major promotion two weeks ago up to $130k and was SO pumped to beef up my retirement, kids 529s, and generally be less financially stressed. He is getting 6 weeks severance. We are all on his health insurance, my job doesn't offer it at all. He already drained his half of our savings from the dui.

I cannot afford the house, his rent, all utilities, his dui, childcare, etc etc etc.

I have spent a year really building an independent life for myself. I have put SO MUCH into the kids stability and being a great mom and therapy and professional development and not letting the dissolution of my life eat me alive.

This is not top priority at all but[b] I have been dating someone absolutely wonderful since December [/b]and I was so looking forward to steadily progressing that relationship.

What do I do now? Kids stability and financial stability need to be prioritized. 
I have an inlaw suite in my basement. Do I tell him to break his lease and move in there (his rent + utilities are $2200/m)? How would this affect the kids after they are doing great with all the transitions we've had this past year? It would absolutely put my mental health in the gutter to have to share a living space with him. I want to die thinking of having a non-working, non-driving ex living in my basement and sharing all living spaces.

Do I try to rent my basement to someone else? It is not a legal rental but maybe could airbnb or find a friend of a friend under the table thing.

Do I pull our little one out of daycare? ($1700/m) She is 4.5yo and really loves it there.

Do I tell him to figure it out and I'm done? Our divorce should be final in a couple months and if I owe him alimony and child support, I won't be able to keep the house.

[/quote]

I'm sorry, what? WHAT?! You started dating someone two months after your husband moved out? That is INSANE. I couldn't even read past that point.[/quote]
Meh, he was cheating on her for 3 years, plus how ever long he's been checked out for. Good for her for trying to move on. [/quote]

Yeah, I'm not a fan of puritanical scolding of divorced or single moms for dating.

Issue now is with the lack of a stable co-parent is if dating is logistically feasible.

[/quote]

I also think he moved out October 2023 and she began dating someone this past December - 2024[/quote]

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