Reply to No birthday present- break up with him?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][twitter][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I may be the outlier here, but it’s an incredible feeling to receive a completely on point gift. It is a reflection of how much a person knows you, cares about knowing you, and showing you how much they care about knowing you.

Along the same lines, it’s an incredible feeling to GIVE a gift to someone that you know,  that is completely on point, and watching their face light up when they receive it.

And this has nothing to do with costs of the gifts.

It’s a beautiful reciprocity in relationship and one that I really out in a lot of effort to cultivate in my marriage.

Signed, 40s divorced and remarried mom who does not agree to lowering standards in post divorce relationships.

[/quote]

The pressure to come up with the right gift multiple times a year takes the joy out of it. It becomes a tedious hamster wheel of escalation.[/quote]

There are only 3 occasions a year - Christmas, bday and Valentine’s Day [/quote]

The person who thinks they come up with the perfect gift, on schedule, 3 times per year has a partner who protects the gift giver’s feelings.[/quote]

I agree. I highly doubt that 3 times a year this poster has left her man in a state of awe that the incredible and thoughtful gift she bought is just on point and exactly what he wanted without ever voicing it.

Part of the issue for us is that neither of us really need or want much at this point in life. If we happen to see an ‘on point’ item, we would just get it and give it then or at a birthday or Christmas if they were soon but we don’t really have anything on our gift wish lists. We do little thoughtful things throughout the year but there is no pressure to perform with finding a perfect gift on 3 specific dates. [/quote]

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