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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship. [/quote]

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.[/quote]

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid???? [/quote]

The rest of us make plans for our kids. If you’re in such a peculiar situation that you have no other friends, spouse, neighbor, parents, inlaws, sibling, or anyone else in your life who can watch your toddler for an hour, most of us can’t relate to that. Never being able to have lunch without a toddler is odd. Everyone else shouldn’t need to adjust to accommodate this unusual issue.[/quote]

It's really not unusual at all that the friends, spouse, parents, inlaws, and siblings would all be working adults or not living nearby. They might be willing to take leave for the mom to go to a doctor's appointment without the kid, but probably not so she can go to lunch with a friend. She might not want to bother elderly neighbors, so that doesn't leave many options. If these lunches are on a weekend, then it's a little more understandable to expect the mom to leave the kid with her spouse.[/quote]

It actually is unusual. A person with lots of friends and lunch dates knows nobody who can watch a toddler doesn’t really make sense. [/quote]

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