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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is the deep poop & hair cleaning lady wife above divorced?

She cited 10 years of marriage so maybe that was the stint…. [/quote]

That's me and no we are not divorced yet. We are in couples therapy and we are in the process of hiring a regular cleaning person (something I had to fight tooth and nail for and finally got him to agree to in therapy).

I will also note that he was not always like this -- he lived alone before we got married and his house was pretty clean. Not spotless, but not gross, and for instance he cleaned his own bathroom. I knew going in that he had an allergy to the vacuum cleaner and was fine being the person who vacuums. But I had no idea how bad it would get.

…

And linking this all back to sex drive. I want to be clear, I'm not intentionally withholding sex from my husband. It's not like I want to have sex or am even neutral about it and just think "no, I'm mad at him, I refuse." I actually wish I was having sex at least some in my life, and I'm still physically attracted to my husband outside all this context. 
But in context, I [b]feel so used and demeaned in my life that I simply cannot have sex. My body does not turn on in that way, I cannot experience sexual arousal. We'll watch a sexy movie and my husband will get in the mood and I feel nothing. It would not be possible for me to have sex in this state, it would be painful and horrible. So this is not some tit for tat competition here. My sex drive is DEAD. I wish it was not, but I do think it is closely linked to my level of stress and just feeling like I spend every waking hour either working (where I have to serve and help others all day) or cleaning and caring for my family, and the sexual side of me has shut down.[/b]

I am hoping getting a cleaner this fall will help and allow me to feel like a person. Sex is not my first priority at that point (I'd like to start working out and sleeping more first, both things I've struggled to find time for the last few years), but I am hoping that with time if I can stop feeling like a domestic servant, we can shift things. …[/quote]

Wow. Totally understandable. 
Such disrespectful, rude and disgusting behavior towards you. 
There is really no excuse, and certainly not he was jealous the dependent toddlers were getting attention and not him. [/quote]

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