Reply to Why do we tolerate trash talking and elitism as "boys will be boys" behavior?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can try to explain the weather to the people who you see fruitlessly arguing with it, but some of those people are going to think you’re holding back the sunshine.

I was a lackluster athlete whose kid was hurt by roasts. By I’m not going to switch my kids’ schools over it, because roasts are there too. I’m not going to switch countries, because I’ve lived all over the world, and it’s global.

Go ahead and blame, judge and be angry. It’s still going to rain.

Personally I think it’s better to understand the weather, predict it and grab an umbrella, but I guess that’s just me.[/quote]

Back up, we got a metaphor maker up in here![/quote]

This might be the best post in this thread. An unkind roast from someone who thinks all unkind roasts have to stop.[/quote]

Ooh, we gotta thin-skinned mamma thinking she’s making a point, look at the steam puffing out of her! You can hear the gears grinding from space.

[b]Please feel free to use bold, italic, asterisks, however you process, to show where Mama Bad Metaphor was critiqued for lack of football skills, being a bad runner, having poor parents, not having a real Stanley cup or Lululemon bag, getting only into not competitive schools, her appearance, or any of the other scenarios under discussion. [/b]

My DC don’t “roast,” yet it is legit hilarious how offended you claim to be. Parent your little dickheads. Try.[/quote]

Guess this snarky poster missed where everyone in this thread has pretty much agreed that being a jerk isn’t okay—and the people trying to explain that roasting DOES NOT include any of the things on that list.[/quote]

I would edit that to read that everyone has said hurt feelings and malicious roasting are not ok. The problem is when someone presumes to know someone else’s feelings.

My kid has won international robotics competition. He does not care about his athletic skills. He does care deeply about Marvel characters.

He gets hurt by roasts about marvel but not about being a slow runner or bad football player. His friends all know that. He also does not care about roasts about his robotics skills for very different reasons. Athletics because he doesn’t care; robotics, because he’s confident. As insiders, they roast in all the right ways. He has many top athlete friends.

Outsiders should not judge these kids. They shouldn’t say that my kid needs to grow thicker skin about Marvel or that the kids teasing him are jerks.

The rule for a jerk is when you don’t care about someone’s feelings. These kids have feelings. When kids have hurt feelings they need to be addressed.

When they don’t, it’s not a problem, even when 3rd party mom says it is.

Both are true Z[/quote]

I would also advise when talking to others: when my kid feels hurt, I tell him to tell the other kid. If the other kid doesn’t listen, I tell him to tell the teacher. If it’s a big enough thing, tell the counselor. Someone will understand and listen.

Things go sideways when instead of a hurt child having his hurt feelings helped, mom or dad go rogue and decide all roasting needs to stop or all roasters are dickheads. The debate turns into this one, and no one is helped, not even their own hurt child.[/quote]

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