Reply to My kid witnessed another playdate - awkward

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I read all the replies and appreciate them but genuinely don't feel I was out of line. When people can be so exclusive why not push for inclusivity? I did appreciate that the parent replied to my text. I wanted to be transparent about how it made my child feel so next time there might be a bit more self-reflection. I understand not every child is invited to each playdate,  but if the opportunity arises, why not extend the offer to one more kid instead of simply changing the subject? My child clearly wanted to play. The mom in question has a large home and could have accommodated the extra child and I would have been happy to reciprocate next time. It was just an awkward situation which could have been made kinder by inclusivity. [/quote]
It's not a club, sport, or organized activity. You can't advocate for your kid in this situation. The things you are doing will make her a pariah. What you should be doing is encouraging DD to not take things personally, and branch out with other friendships. Most of the other moms will find your behavior off putting and they will cross your daughter off their lists. This is real world social interaction. The only way you can move the needle is by modeling inclusivity.

It's ok to validate your daughter's feelings, but don't leave her in the pit. Kids with healthy social lives are usually kids that have a larger number of friends they can invite/be invited by, don't take things personally, and have good interpersonal skills. You need to help your kid develop relationships, confidence, and communication skills.

You can ignore the essentially universal advice that what you are doing is going to be destructive for your daughter or you can realize that you're making a bad choice. The world would be a better place if people were kinder and more focused on inclusivity. They aren't. You need to teach your daughter to live in the world she's in. That doesn't mean that you can't work towards making it better, but what you are doing is not going to help anyone.[/quote]

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