Reply to No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are South Asian and of course had kids at our wedding.  But my cousin's kid wailed throughout my ceremony and my cousin didn't have the sense to take the kid outside of the hall.  Years later, that same cousin's other kid almost ruined a couple's first dance bc the parents couldn't be bothered to keep their kid away from the dance floor for a few minutes.

This is to say, I understand why people exclude kids from weddings.  It's not about the kids, it's about the entitled/clueless parents of said kids that don't remove their kid or correct their behavior.[/quote]

See, a lot of people would find it really cute that a kid occupies the dance floor during the first dance. If I were the bride, I would love it and cherish those pics. Sadly, no kid came up to us during the dance, but I do have hilarious pics of kid shenanigans during other parts of my wedding - they're the best! I'm French, had my wedding in a castle in France, and all the kids were running around, petting the horses of the horse-drawn carriage (under supervision), running into the garden or the fields... it was carefree and exactly what I thought should happen.

The root of the problem is a fundamental difference in how certain adults view the presence of children, who naturally understand the world differently from adults. Childhood is so short and precious. Most of the world understands that this is a time to be understanding of their needs, not try to straight-jacket them into unnecessary decorum. The decorum gets learned every day. My kids are now young adults and teens. They and their cousins have absorbed all the required mannerisms to be courteous adults. They are none of the worse for being invited to weddings and being allowed to express themselves.
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This isn’t cute. At all. Why would you think its cure for kids to upstage the couple for the first dance? The kids can slide on their knees the next 30 songs.[/quote]

and herein lies the delusion. You’re not famous - nobody wants to see your first dance as if you were on Broadway. There is no “upstaging” unless you are impossibly self-centered. [/quote]

But they don't want to see your kids either. The bride and groom paid for the party. It's their party. Your kids are tolerated at best. If you want your kid on the stage performing, send them to dance class where there is a recital.[/quote]

why would you invite people you’re so hostile towards? Seriously. why make such a big deal if it’s just “a party”?

I think there are some reasonable points here made about worsening discipline, the expense of hosting your mom’s coworker’s kids, etc. But some people don’t quite seem to get that the reason people make an effort and sometimes go to great cost to attend weddings is because they are more than just “a party.” [/quote]

Why would you go to a wedding if you begrudge the couple their first dance? How self centered are you?[/quote]

i don’t begrudge them the first dance but I do think this idea that they are broadway stars everyone is rapt to see is a bit cringe. No matter how well they dance it’s always a bit cringe and everyone is relieved when it ends. [/quote]

But if your 4 year old was out there with them it would be 10000% better?

It's their wedding, whatever they want to do for the first dance is their choice.  Your job is not to critique it all.  You can choose when you get married.

[/quote]

This is why people don't want kids at the wedding. That PP thinks the sun shines out of her kid's butt. She doesn't care at all about the bride and groom, it's just a reason to get her kid dressed up and have their moment in the spotlight being 'adorable' during a couple's first dance. PPs kid isn't the reason people are there, as much as she seems to think. The bad parenting is pretty cringe.[/quote]

No, that’s not what I said although I think a cute toddler dancing is much less cringe than an overrehearsed cringe dance routine or everyone staring at the couple slow dancing. [/quote]

Only the parents of said toddler think this. Sorry adults dancing makes you so uncomfortable. Do you have many adult friends?[/quote]
+1
My wedding isn't your toddlers recital. [/quote]

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