Reply to Wife and I have dramatically different opinions about how much financial help should be given to adult kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here and I think it depends.

My parents paid for undergrad as a given.

Graduate school I took out a loan, which they paid off for me in total as a graduation gift when I got my first job in my field out of grad school.

Once my husband and I had bought a house they gifted us the difference between our down payment and 20% so we only paid a month or two of PMI. They also paid for a renovation as a surprise anniversary gift after we had already made the selection and hired the contractors based on our budget.

They don’t believe in enabling choices based on likely help but they also think it’s foolish to sit on money and watch your kid miss out on things just out of a misguided attempt to teach them something.

And I imagine there’s some calculus which is paying off for them in that their kids had kids a little earlier than our peers which means they get more time to enjoy their grandkids.

I think this is all wholly contingent on the financial status of the parents though. They should not work longer in their 60s to support a kids down payment or something. [/quote]

God forbid your 30 year old child "miss out" on a home renovation.  The horror!   :roll:

I'm convinced people like you never stop to listen to yourself talk.  Geez[/quote]

I don’t think you read very carefully— we wouldn’t have missed out. We would have done the reno anyway. When they think of missing out they mean things like not taking a vacation, taking on a second job, the kind of things that keep you from spending time with family.

But you think…what? They should just sit on money? That’s the morally preferable thing to do somehow?[/quote]

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