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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. :roll: So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"[/quote]

The fact that you are looking for a comeback to this (and you are projecting something the other person didn’t say) means you are actually a wee bit insecure about this and the inference hit a nerve. It’s super weird when [b]private school parents pretend they don’t hope their investment in tuition produces success and good college admission outcomes[/b]. [/quote]

The weird thing is how public school parents don't understand that "better college placement" is not the motivation of every parent who chooses private over public. We have two children that attended (different) Big 3 and live in a very strong public district.  One kid is the type to be in all the hardest classes and applying to T20 schools - the other was the type that is very smart but has some executive functioning challenges and took some highest level classes but not across the board.  Both had the option to go to public HS and considered it. Both chose to go to their respective Big 3s based on other factors. As parents college placement had zero weight on this choice and it also did not factor in for the the kids. And we have never stated once to anyone that we think our private schools are better than the public option - they are just different paths - we are lucky enough to have the resources to pay private (and for private colleges too).[/quote]

The weird thing is that if the above was the major reason for private OP would not be here sourcing “ an elegant comeback.”  People who are secure in themselves and decisions a) don’t need them or b) when the rare occasion arises that they do, are readily able to respond.[/quote]

Maybe - but it depends on when the OP started in private schools.  Our kids started from K and we used to get so many comments from neighbors, some were shockingly judgmental.  It takes getting used to - so if the OP started in HS then they may not have had as long to figure this out as we did.  We have always taken the high ground and ignored it - but sometimes we still get people who say the most inappropriate things. People feel so compelled.  Neighbors and close friends have backed off over time - probably because we have never taken their bait and maybe because they can see that we have never made a single negative statement about public schools and that we have never once implied private is better than public.  But, we will sometimes still get comments from co-workers or parents on sports teams. And, I will admit that even among those that backed off over the years - some came back at college admissions time to say things. (but then again - lots of people have too much to say at college admissions time - it's like a bug to the light).

Over time - I have also learned to discuss my kids in conversations without talking too much about school - and I purposely avoid framing conversations in a way that indicates they are going to private (or even where they are in college).  If someone asks, of course I answer.

Bottom line - even those of us who are reasonable and have thick skin and did not choose private for college admissions and never thought "private school is better than public" (just that we decided we liked what our private schools had to offer for our specific kids) - even with all this - we still run into people saying things similar to what OP is stating and we had to learn over time the best ways to respond and to change direction of such conversations.   [/quote]

OP said the other parent stated where their child was admitted. How is that inappropriate?
[/quote]

No - (over multiple posts) the OP said the other parent said something akin to "my public school kid got into the same schools your private school kid got into" - I wasn't there and obviously context is important.  But I'm saying that in our experience - public parents making this sort of statement (saying their kid is public and your kid is private) are the same ones who seem to repeatedly make snide comments and have some weird grudge or chip on their shoulder about the other family choosing private. Like I said - I ignore this (and by now I think it's funny....because over multiple kids in private from k-12 - I have also seen some of these same public families later end up turning to private for one of their kids....THEN they get it...that many of us are just finding a match for our kid and we never drew some imaginary line saying public isn't "good enough for us".)_ [/quote]

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