Reply to “My friends warned me not to marry a white woman”

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Reply to "“My friends warned me not to marry a white woman”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did he think all the white women in America become maids for their husbands? What an ass.[/quote]

The opposite. Hispanic women cook and clean and don’t require any chores of their husbands (according to him, his mom and his friends). White women nag their men to clean. [/quote]
I have a Latina colleague who is in her 30s, recently married to a Latino. They also are having issues about these same things. She has been career oriented and has a big job. She is trying to adjust to cooking after work as she expects it of herself but she hates it. Up to this point she was not domestic at all and she is struggling with it. Her mother-in-law has been a problem since they got serious. They were going to counseling before they got married. I live in California and have had many Latina colleagues over the years. The older ones did the second shift or just did not get married because they didn't want to live like this. For younger people, like my newly married friend, I think there will have to be serious cultural change on expectations for women, or there will be a lot of divorces. The expectations are ridiculous! [/quote]

A large part of the problem is that in their country of origin where this works it’s often because regular people can afford household help to cook and clean. In the US it is prohibitively expensive for a lot of people and couples end up fighting over something that other cultures outsource.[/quote]

"Regular people" being people who have a lot more money than the majority of the population in those countries.

This is definitely the case in my country of origin. And I married an American man from a different culture (not White) that places even more unrealistic expectations on women.

Frankly neither of us keeps the house super clean. We both kind of make fun of each other. I think it is to my benefit that I don't try too hard to keep the house nice to the point of doing a lot of additional domestic work. It works because we each feel a little guilty and try to step up as much as possible. The house is still kind of a mess, but DH and I get along.

OP needs to stop making up for her husband's lack of action. Stop doing sh$t for him. If he wants the house to be cleaner, he needs to pony up for a house cleaner, not expect his wife to do it for him for free on top of her full time job. If he wants dinner he needs to cook it. If he doesn't like it, tough sh$t, life is hard.[/quote]

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