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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My affair turned into a marriage. Fifteen years later, we're still happy.

I was already separated when we met, and heading towards divorce. He was already trying to decide whether to leave his marriage. I don't think our affair "caused" his marriage to end. I think it was going to end, regardless.

However, I struggled a lot with whether I could trust him, at the beginning. I was being honest with my STBX about seeing other people, but he was lying to his then-wife because he was still very conflicted about whether to leave, and scared she would make the decision for him.

I broke it off with him a couple of times: told him he was not being fair to her, and although I loved him I didn't want to see him until he was either separated or at least being honest with her about seeing other people. I was pretty angry at him. I felt like he was being self-indulgent. We had a lot of difficult conversations and for a while I thought it would never work.

But in the end, he got separated, we started seeing each other more, we each got divorced, and eventually we got married to one another. I waited several years though. I wanted to feel sure it wasn't just the lure of novelty that was carrying us along.

Overall: I am glad we got married. He is not perfect, but no one is, and he tries his best, and there is a lot of love, premised on a lot of willingness to accept one another and forgive.[/quote]

Thank you for this. [/quote]

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