Reply to I think I’m being taken advantage of and I want out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, you sound like a miserable misanthrope of a person. I can’t imagine not wanting to help a new mom. Maybe she imagines you will have a baby also soon and need help, who knows. But by all means, disabuse her of the notion that most fellow parents wouldn’t care about driving three blocks!!!  Out of their way so their kid can ride to school with their friend. I would give zero thoughts about doing this, so I can’t help you. And I never ask for help myself. I just can’t fathom being this miserly. five minutes?! [/quote]
Not OP but no. She is being taken advantage of. [/quote]
Wholeheartedly agree with this!! OP, someone saw your good heart and is asking too much[/quote]
Hard disagree. 5 minutes 3x a week? I’m not seeing the warm heart here. I would not even have to think about this, this is an automatic yes. It’s such a small thing for me and such an enormous help to another family. [/quote]

People are different though. People often assume that all parents have the same capacity for things but they don't. Like OP this is something I could do in a pinch or for a month or two to help a friend through a transition period but I could not do permanently. This is because my spouse has a job that starts early in the morning and leaves before our kids are even up and I also have a SN kid who often needs extra help. I have our morning routine down pat and could adjust it to help someone out but it would not be a "small thing" -- it would be an imposition I'd be willing to take on to help someone who really needed it.[/quote]
OP has not given any reason why this is burdensome. She’s just mad because somehow she’s “being taken advantage of.” Frankly, we all need to up what we are doing for our communities and be less selfish. When I saw the dramatic title of this thread I expected some life altering event. But no, OP just can’t take 5 minutes out of her day 3x a week without getting something. [/quote]

I can tell you're a taker because you only credit OP with five minutes of the ten minute task. Hence, to you, it's not a big deal because you are devaluing her time even in your post.

~ someone who does a ton of carpooling and helping out three kid families [/quote]
You’d be wrong. I’m the one with extra snacks, extra space in my car, at my table, a place to stay, and sometimes- gasp- money. I help anyone I can as much as I can. I’m so fortunate to have been able to stay at home with my kids, to have flexibility that many others don’t. I give because I believe it’s the right thing to do, and it feels good as well. Do some people “use” me? Probably. But I’d rather say yes to 10 who don’t really need help than deny one who does. I don’t believe you’re a helping person, because if you were, you wouldn’t even use the word TAKER. You would recognize that sometimes people have challenges, whether for a season or a long term, and life isn’t meant to be tit for tat. To whom much is given, much will be required.[/quote]

I don't tit for tat at all. I am very generous with my time, money, and try to build community. But it's not building community to pressure people into helping others when it ISN'T working for them. [/quote]

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