Reply to Wedding season 2024- going gift amount?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ha! We just hosted a black tie wedding in DC proper and had a set of my children’s local friends gifted $50 (so $25 a person). Trust me, they can afford to give way more. My daughter was shocked at how cheap her friends were! It barely covered the cost of a single cocktail at the hotel bar afterparty (which of course they attended).[/quote]

So the goal is to turn a profit?[/quote]

Of course it is not to turn a profit. It’s just a statement that a gift of $25/person covers barely anything. It just goes to show people have differing social norms - this was not a case of not being able to afford gifting more. But if you are so focused on profit, it cost us $325 a plate inclusive of tax and service fee (its about 30% these days) for catering & open bar, so we are “officially” negative $600 on these particular guests. Weddings prices have gone out the door these days. [/quote]

"covers barely anything" - so it's an entrance fee?

Some people do a simple wedding in their backyard, or at City Hall.  People who want more than that can spend the money for a big party, of course.  The cost is on them, not their guests (who are not "guests" at all if they are expected to "cover" costs).[/quote]

+1 The "cover your plate" concept is so tacky. The first time I heard it was from someone who grew up in MD. He told the guy at the registry store that he wanted to cover his plate. The guy bristled and told him there's no need for that.

DH and I threw an expensive wedding and had no intention of foisting the costs onto our guests. After reading this thread, I hope no one felt like they had to spend more on a gift just because we chose to spend more on the wedding. I'm from the South and was raised that the host always pays for the party without any expectations for gifts. Never any cash bars and we pay for everyone if we throw a dinner party at a restaurant.

We give gifts based on how close we are to the couple. I don't care if it's a black tie event for 200 people or BBQ in the backyard for 25 people. I'd actually feel more honored to be selected as someone's top 25 people than some third cousin who I barely know, but I'd be grateful to be invited to either wedding. [/quote]

You were raised well. We also had no expectation for gifts. We paid for everything ourselves. We did have a registry with a range of prices (mom insisted so that people wouldn’t hound us/hee about what we needed or wanted or liked). It had maybe 50 items. I know people said it was short, but it had nothing on it that we weren’t planning to buy if no one did. We are not rich but we budgeted for what we could afford. [/quote]

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