Reply to How to get through to DH that doing 80% doesn't count?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your husband isn’t an idiot.  He knows that if he only does 80%, then you have to do the rest.  He also knows that if he makes you the project manager of the house who has to delegate all tasks, then that makes it seem like everything he does is a favor to you.

If he really believed that it was his job to do the laundry or the dishes, then he would figure out how to do them.  You wouldn’t need to have a “conversation” about it.  And if you really believed that it was his job, then you wouldn’t do whatever he didn’t get done.  You would assume he would figure it out.  But because we live in a patriarchal society, you both internalized this belief that is actually your job, as the woman, to do the dishes.  And so you are fighting about how much of it he should take over when he agrees to take it over.  
[/quote]

This has been discussed before.

The person with the true POWER in the family, is the dysfunctional one.

And if the dysfunctional one also role models defiance and belligerence for the kids, on top of executive and communication dysfunction, they you either divorce or cut them out of everything.

PS they won’t get functional once divorced. They usually try to keep parentifying and blaming the children. [/quote]

There’s more than one type of dysfunction.  Rigidity and black-and-white thinking are also dysfunctional.  [/quote]

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