Reply to Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Def a bridezilla thing. Even when it’s your day, still not the center of the world. Kids are a part of the community. Folks have really gotten too precious about their expectations. [/quote]

I blame social media. Brides these days don’t want to celebrate a wedding, they want to star in a social media event. I genuinely don’t think many of them care much about the meaning of the event. [/quote]

+1. I would have been to happy to elope and probably should have! Our wedding was low key by today's standards and there is NO WAY I'd want to plan a wedding today. And I have two daughters...[/quote]

In some ways these events are not unrelated. I firmly believe that the rise of narcissistic brides who ban children from weddings is associated with the rise of badly behaved children. In both cases it’s the result of bad parenting. The terrible brats running around weddings without discipline turn into the grossly self-aborbed brides. They are the same people just twenty years apart. [/quote]

But at least the first part in rectifying that wrong is banning the younger generation of brats from the weddings. They won't let the bad parenting ruin the next cycle of weddings. Maybe the parents will get a clue. Because the parenting certainly isn't getting better. Ask the teachers how it's going.[/quote]

No, actually it’s not. The first part in rectifying that situation is inviting kids to events like weddings but letting the rest of the family discipline the kids if they misbehave and openly shame the parents of the parents don’t step up. That’s how kids learn how to behave and how not to need to be the center of attention, and that’s how bad parenting is mitigated.

Part of why these horrifically narcissistic bridezillas exist is precisely because as children they never had the experience of being shamed or disciplined for misbehavior. That doesn’t have to come from parents, if the parents are weak and incapable; in a functioning community, it’s a common goal. This is why children at large religious red state weddings are much better behaved than children at coastal liberal weddings: because in the red state religious weddings, there are community expectations for behavior that are enforced if the parents won’t step in. (And I say this as a coastal atheist.)

The tedious narcissist childfree weddings are an outgrowth of both bad parenting and a weak community and extended family. It’s a generational problem that just compounds. [/quote]

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