Reply to Are there ramifications for being a SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do what you want and what feels good for you in your relationship.

I always liked working. I derive satisfaction from working. I didn't derive much satisfaction from being a full time mom (which I essentially did for 3 years - though always was technically employed at the time, for purposes of keeping my resume fresh).

I hear a lot of women on this forum say that their husbands always continued to treat them as the same equal when they stayed home.  That's great! In my case, I don't think I'd ever be attracted to the kind of guy who had the same respect for a sahm wife as he would have for a working wife. Because honestly that means he probably didn't put a whole lot of value in the accomplishments of a working wife. I have accomplished a lot in my career and education. It really is harder and more interesting than baby raising. So if a guy was like "my opinions of you won't change based on whether you continue working or not"..... . that's kind of weird, and not the guy for me.  Consequently, my DH is very attracted to my professional success; we definitely weren't as connected or have the same energy when I wasn't working. But again - your DH and your relationship may be different, so you do you. [/quote]

I am a career woman who also was SAH for a few years. It's the opposite to me: "career" in dmv area is just pushing papers and moving funds from point A to point B. Parenting to young kids is far more difficult and importnant, and I would never be attracted to a man who didnt consider parenting as equal as working a full time job. 
It IS a FT job![/quote]

I agree with this. Staying home never made sense for my family financially, and I’ll always be a little sad about it. I generally think it’s better for kids to be predominantly in the care of a parent outside of school (I say this as a working mom with full time childcare.) It’s more important that parents be mentally healthy and financially stable though, so if both parents prefer to work - or need to - that’s the priority. [/quote]

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