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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I do not understand how me having another child will impact my relationship with my current kids.[/b] Nothing will change. From the start I told my girlfriend that my kids are very important to me. [b]I have had to cancel dates with her and I also do not see her as much as I want to because i value my time with my kids. The assumption that I will just give up on them is strange to me. I love my children.[/quote]

Come on.  You know a relationship is different with kids than without and what might be cool when you don’t have kids changes when you do. Of course right now your girlfriend understands how much you value the time with your kids and it could be seen as a positive if she is thinking about marrying and having kids with you.  But once you marry and have children will the reasons you’ve canceled dates in the past be okay when she is home with the 1 year old?  Is she willing to pitch in and help with carpools and whatever else is needed during your 50% of time with your kids even while you have a young one? Would she be willing to sign a prenup to financially ensure all your children are taken care of fairly and with whatever estate planning? And if she expects you to prioritize her and the children you share over your existing children what are you going to do - will you really be willing to divorce over this and have joint custody of a small child in your 50’s or go along to get along?

I have a relative with a with a much younger 2nd wife and I think it works so far because he never shirked his duties raising his older child (only had 1 with ex) and intentionally moved close to ex until kid graduated HS,  the girlfriend/2nd wife was appropriately involved with step-daughter- not trying to be a parent but was helpful in any logistics needed with joint custody and had forged a good relationship before she (2nd wife) had kids, the older one had graduated high school so a lot of the situations where time/energy would be split weren’t an issue.  And of course has the type of money to comfortably help all children, have part-time nanny/helper for SAH wife so everything does not fall on her without any breaks, and  doesn’t mind postponing retirement.[/quote]

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