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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What I left out was that we had a neuropsych eval done in 3rd, thinking maybe he had ASD. He doesn't - but he did test gifted. Smart, nerdy, shy, and unathletic was a nightmare in this particular cohort, so we felt justified in putting him in public. We were told this was the best choice for him academically.

Unfortunately, his public wouldn't accept his wisc results and required the cogat for placement, which he bombed, so he's not receiving any kind of academic enrichment here. Long story short, he resents us for promising a challenge and wants to go back to his private (where the bullying was BAD but never "loose a tooth bad). He never had behavioral issues there minus crying over the bullying.[/quote]

Lots of kids are bright in public without enrichment.  Why is this kid being bullied at multiple schools and why is he so violent.[/quote]

I don't know. He hadn't shown any signs of violence when we had the neuropsych eval done, so we weren't able to raise that concern then. He doesn't play video games, period (something he's teased about), so it's not something he picked up there. I don't know where he got the idea that shoving someone was ok - [b]I would have rather he'd let himself be tripped again and lost another tooth, as horrible as that sounds. [/b][/quote]
Well, no mystery where the weanie behavior comes from. This comment along with the "he took the dentist like a champ" and the "I don't want to talk about bullying, just give me a magical fix so I won't feel bad about driving my crying son to school" is probably the saddest thing I've read on DCUM. This boy is doing everything he can to please his mother, but he just can't stomach being assaulted and bullied anymore. OP, why do you hate your son? Let me guess, gender disappointment? [/quote]

I don't want him to end up in jail. Just look at the posters here calling him violent and saying he should loose more teeth rather than stick up for himself. Like it or not, that's how society thinks, and it doesn't bode well for his future. [/quote]

No, this is how one segment of society thinks, but not most. You know what I think? I think, good for him for standing up for himself. I understand why the school has to take a hardline approach but that's an administrative issue and not yours. He is not a bad kid just because he got suspended for a minor thing that in the past would have been a big nothing. My 10 year old boy got an agitated call and email home from the teacher because she caught him reading a book in class instead of doing his math problems (which he had already finished). Of course he should not have been doing that, but neither does it warrant a call home. We told him not to do it again, but we did not punish him for it. The teacher had every right to tell him off, and she did, and that is sufficient punishment for an incredibly minor offense.

I think you should in fact put your kid in martial arts. It's a great way to learn both self-discipline and self-confidence. It's not going to teach him to be violent, it will teach him to control himself and channel his physical impulses - which most of us have - and give him self-confidence and an outlet for physical activity. Even non-sporty kids like to move and need to move. This isn't Karate Kid, he is not going to learn to beat some other kid into the ground. He'll just learn to stretch, and do situps and pushups, and kick and punch the air. Find a good, reputable place - a place that focuses entirely on one martial art, like Tae Kwon Do or Aikido - and doesn't promise a black belt in 3 years or tournaments or any schlock that seems ridiculous.

And yeah, let him play some non-violent beginner video games like Prodigy. I get you on that, I loathe video games too, and very reluctantly have let my kids progress in them a bit because it really is social currency and mostly because their same-age cousins do it and we see them often so it would create serious family awkwardness to say no. Prodigy is pretty decent. Minecraft is actually not bad. The Nintendo stuff, which my older kid likes, is worse, but no worse than the games I played as a kid (anyone remember shooting animals on Oregon Trail?). There is much more violent stuff out there but he is not allowed to play it. Fortnite is a hard no at age 10.

This is hard, OP. You're doing your best. Hopefully you have some good camps set up so he can have an enjoyable summer and maybe a fresh start in the fall. [/quote]

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