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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just confirmed the affair 100%, sadly both EA and physical now.  
Not sure what will happen with me and DH.  He’s ending it, as he says he wants “us” over her.  But we obv have a LOT to figure out.

But being in a world of anger and pain, I feel that AP should not get off scott free. I’m assuming she loves my DH, so his ending it will hurt. Any reason why I should not blow up her marriage as she/DH have done mine?[/quote]
You should tell for a few reasons:

1. Taking back your power. Don’t play the passive victim helping your abusers keep their dirty secret. Take control of the situation by exposing them.

2. Compassion for the husband being cheated on. Don’t let him continue walking around being her fool.

3. Natural consequences. Getting outed as a cheater is a natural consequence of cheating.

4. Insurance. Your husband has shown himself to be a duplicitous liar. You cannot trust that he will really end things and keep them ended for good. Telling her husband increases the odds that the affair will really end for good.

5. Get things over with. The last thing you want is for her husband to find out later after you have started to heal, come seek out your husband, and then you have to deal with the fallout of his infidelity all over again. Disclose right now to everyone who needs to know (and the spouse is definitely one) so everything can happen and be done with in one fell swoop.[/quote]

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