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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a weird jealousy there. My dh's sister has never been welcoming towards me - hasn't wanted me in family photos, caused some drama at my wedding even though I asked her to be in my bridal party. After about 8 years, I told dh that I didn't want to take it anymore and we have essentially cut them out of our lives. They moved far away so it's not hard. My brother's wife is very lovely and we have a great relationship. Something I do wish I had with my sil but am over it.[/quote]

Yeah, the sting of being told "you're not family, so please take the picture" can linger. And then making a fuss at our wedding as it was near her BD even though we gave other dates precisely to avoid the conflict remains memorable. Telling me how to parent our teens in the middle of a conflict was a jaw drop, especially as she and her DH are very clear that their adult children are largely off limits ("How do you have their phone number? Why would you be in contact with them?"). Perhaps that all started when they instructed their children to not use "Aunt" to refer to me because you only do that with family. I guess I should appreciate the transparency.

I've never met two people who revel in how cultured and creative they are yet are fairly narrow and incurious about life.

We've gotten to a better place, though I would say that it is largely due to my effort though with DH prodding me on occasions. Maybe also because I pitch in to take care of their parents when I can. I also want my kids to see that you need to make an effort with family, even when it is not easy and when they may LYK that they don't consider you family.[/quote]

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