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[quote=Anonymous]My husband and I have a similar academic background as you, OP. Both DH and I attended top 10 schools for both undergrad and grad school. But we are quickly realizing that college admissions is different today than it was when we applied. Even if she did have a 4.0 unweighted in honors and AP classes and had 1550+, there is no guarantee she would get into a top 10 school. There are too many applicants and holistic admissions is unpredictable. Sometimes non-academic standouts get admitted over academic standouts for other, sometimes random reasons. Imagine how you would feel if you pushed her and she had a stressful high school grind, and she still didn't get into a top tier school, because this is what is happening to many kids. it's a risky game to play with your kid's mental health.

I have a freshman kid who loves academics and we don't even have to push. She has the profile of a kid who would have done really well in college admissions back in the day. Taking BC calc as a sophomore, doing well academically all around, all-state musician, competition wins, her teachers like her, and she tests really well, etc. We are basically telling her not to aim for the top schools that we attended, and really promoting other schools. I don't want her to feel the pressure of needing to start her own successful non-profit, publish a book, win the international math olympiad, and cure cancer in her spare time, etc. Kids shouldn't have to craft such developed personas at such a young age. They are just kids and should just be focused on discovering what they like, socializing, learning good study habits, getting enough sleep etc.  It's better to send a mentally healthy kid to a non-prestigious school than an anxious kid to an Ivy, only to have them break down there and not do well.

Also, despite the hype, you do not need perfect stats to get into college. There are plenty of schools out there. Among my many friends and neighbors who have college age kids, I know of zero cases where kids couldn't get into a place. Everyone found a place they were satisfied with (although not first choice), and not all of these kids were the very academic types. [/quote]

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