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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you are a happily married feminist, and your spouse is a man, [b]what is your husband like[/b]? Are there traits or green flags that men can exhibit that would suggest that they would romantically pair well with a feminist?[/quote]

My husband and I are both feminists in that we both believe in equality and advocate for women's rights, we vote for leaders who do the same, we both see that men have historically been prioritized over women and that women have been treated unjustly throughout history, we talk w/ our kids about gender stereotypes and sexism and strongly refute any sexist/misogynistic talk that comes up from the kids or in movies/tv/books/the news.

On paper, we have a more traditional marriage: he works and I am a stay at home mom. This was entirely my choice (my husband would have supported me either way, whether I chose to be a SAHM or chose to keep working after we had kids) and it works for us. I genuinely wanted to be a stay at home parent. I love being home w/ my kids. I even enjoy managing the household tasks. Yes, I do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, chores, errands, and almost all kid-related planning and managing (signing kids up for activities, taking them to the Dr., planning play dates w/ their friends, buying them clothes, etc.) but my husband does a lot with the kids when he's not at work. he's a very involved dad. I'd say he is the primary parent in the evenings and on weekends and holidays. He comes home and totally takes over whatever is going on w/ the kids (helping w/ homework, playing with them, reading to them, taking them to activities, taking them to bed, giving them baths, etc.).

How is he as a partner? Kind, loving, sensitive, thoughtful, generous, considerate. He is the best partner I could ever hope for. He is a great listener, he cares deeply about me, he values me and respects me, he is a wonderful lover. [/quote]
How old are your kids, and what do you plan to do once they are in school all day?
Also, did your DH set up a retirement account for you in your name?[/quote]

No PP but in a very similar situation.  I see where you are going with this question.  All of our money is joint.  I have full access to all of our accounts. Not every woman is a relationship where they need to protect themselves.  We have a marriage that comes first.  I don't need a retirement account in my name.  I don't get or need an allowance, I could go buy a car today if I wanted to and DH wouldn't care.  Not all relationships like this involve an a hole guy. [/quote]
You tolerate a higher risk level than many highly educated women, including myself. I've never believed that a man is a plan, which as crude as it sounds, is actually the case for women like you who rely upon a husband's income for food, shelter, health benefits, etc. 
And you don't need to worry just in the case of divorce, it's also in the case of DH's disability and death. I suppose you are relying upon DH's insurance in the latter cases. 
I'm guessing I'm also older than you, so I've seen a fair share of gray divorces, illness, and death of spouses. [/quote]

I am late 40’s.  We have investments and more than enough life insurance in case of disability or death.  That is part of being irresponsible in any relationship.

What additional risk am I taking?

Having a man wasn’t the “plan”.  Our relationship dynamics are what works for our family and our relationship.

I don’t rely on my husband for shelter or food. We have both contributed in different ways and share everything equally. When I worked and  if I went back to work, the money would still end up in the same pot, so nothing would really be different  as far as access to money.

I am not imprisoned or trapped in any way.  Actually quite the opposite and I have a ton of freedom and pretty much do what I want when I want.  Much more so than my friends with their careers.

I also don’t know what your comment about education has to do with anything.   
You know, nothing about my education or my career prior to meeting my husband.  I know plenty of hiighly, educated, stupid people.[/quote]

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