Reply to Sad about no longer being attracted to DW

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not going to flame you. I really appreciate that my DH has stayed in excellent shape during our 25 year marriage. No belly. Nice muscle tone. Always smells good. Dresses well. Of course, I would still love him if he got fat and dressed poorly but I wouldn't be turned on. Drive fade over time anyway; I definitely don't need a disgust factor pushing mine lower. I think staying attractive is even more important for a woman since men are such visual creatures. I exercise and watch my weight carefully because it makes me feel good, but my primary motivation is staying attractive for my husband. Would he still love me if I didn't? I think yes. But I'm sure he wouldn't be as attracted to or proud of me. It's a tough spot you're in - I think you're right that you can't say anything. But if she ever volunteers that she wishes she had more time for exercise or that she wishes she could get her eating under control, definitely jump in and tell her you'll do whatever you can to support her. I've had periods of flabbiness during our marriage - took the longest time bouncing back after the third kid - I'm talking 10 extra pounds but I hated the way I looked and felt. And my husband (wisely) never said a word, but when I mentioned joining a gym, he eagerly said, "I'll help you make that happen. Whatever I need to do, so you can have that time." It was nice - also confirmed to me that he'd noticed the extra pounds too and wanted to support me in taking them off.[/quote]

Yes, SAHM, we got it on your last post. [/quote]

This is a DP. I am the 1st SAHM. I've been married 20 years and thankful to DH for his comments but not because I could stay more attractive to him, but because I never knew I could be this fit, run this fast, ect... I am almost 50 and feel the same as I did at 30. He's not my primary motivation at all. [/quote]

DP here. I’m in my mid forties and in good shape. I’m not the same as before I had kids. I birthed three kids but I have not let myself go. At age 40, I was the same weight as my pre pregnancy weight. I was determined to lose my baby weight and I did. It took effort.

Then Covid hit and I put on 15 pounds. I lost 10 and then gained another 5. I’m basically 10 pounds heavier than my age 30 weight. I was 120 before kids and now 130. I have friends who try to look good for their husbands. I try to look good for myself and less concerned about Dh.[/quote]

Good for you!  
This stuff reminds me of people who found a devotion to God in adulthood.  
I mean, good for you, and I’m glad that you have found something that is meaningful to you in your life.  But it’s not really applicable to me. [/quote]

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