Reply to Dating someone who cheated on their spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A good friend of mine (who is a drop dead gorgeous Latina), kind, well educated, funny and a ridiculously good cook, got married at 19 to a man 27 years older than her. They had two kids. He cheated on her constantly including while she was giving birth to their younger child. Years later (in the late 20s), she fell in love with someone who was closer to her age, and actually cared about her well being above his own. She refused to leave her marriage because of the children. She encouraged her lover to take a job abroad and not wait for her. He did and all I know is that they are still in touch as friends. We are now in our mid 40s, the husband is early 70s. The kids are almost in college. I don’t know if she’ll end up leaving but I don’t begrudge her ANY of the decisions she has made. She deserves to feel love and she is one of the best people I know. 
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Someone who marries a 46 year old at 19 has terrible judgement and most likely the type of traumatic family history that makes people vulnerable to awful decisions like cheating instead of leaving your old philandering husband.  But it’s still the wrong thing to do and in this case fits in a pattern of poor decision-making.[/quote]

So many totally perfect people on DCUM though! If only she’d found this site first.[/quote]

The OP's question wasn't whether cheaters are perfect people, it was whether you would date someone who cheated on their spouse.  Your friend is a textbook example of why you SHOULDN'T get into a relationship with a cheater.  Here is someone who made really bad choices over and over again- marrying at 19, having babies early, having an affair, refusing to get divorced, etc.  I wouldn't date someone who showed such a pattern of poor judgment throughout their adult life.  She may very well be a good person and a good friend but entering a romantic relationship with someone like that is a recipe for drama and misery.[/quote]

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