Reply to Can anyone please explain the mindset of parents who allow “failure to launch”?

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Reply to "Can anyone please explain the mindset of parents who allow “failure to launch”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you know  they “allow” this?[/quote]
Because they haven’t kicked him out? Haven’t stopped paying for his phone/car/insurance/etc etc. Are you serious? [/quote]

Yup.

For our kids they always knew they were heading to college.  Since both were academically capable it wasn't an issue.  But if one had decided they wanted a different path we would have been open to it.  They could do technical school and a trade if that's what they really wanted to do.  however, they grew up knowing that it's their job at 18 to either go to college, trade school or start working.  You don't get to just sit at home and do nothing.  We worked hard with our one kid who had adhd/anxiety/depression/etc to address it in late ES/MS/HS to make them the "best person they are capable of being".  First year of college was challenging, then they switched majors and did well. Started a job 2 weeks after college graduation and doing well almost 2 years later. 
If we had a kid with more serious issues, then we would have worked with them to find the right path---including therapy and medications, exec functioning coaching (I was able to do most of that for our one), etc to help them deal with their issues in order to be successful members of society.  If CC or trade school was a good path, so be it.  
All kids can live at home, but they must be doing something (school or full time employment) and if it's just working (and not attending college), then they would be paying rent, which we would save to give back to them later.  I would want them to learn the financial aspects of their choices in life---that working at Target for 40 hours/week means  you can only afford this apt and that car, etc.  You have to learn to live within your means, but going to college largely can lead to better job options (or at least trade school and a AA in business because it's hard to be a plumber on the job when you are 50+, it's manual labor, much better to move on to owning your own business and managing the plumbers or hvac team)

but no way in hell would by 20 yo be living at home without going to school or getting a full time job.  That's a recipe for failure to launch, it is only going to get worse
[/quote]

You don't have a child with a major disability or psychological issue. [/quote]

Exactly!

If only, it was so easy to fix schizophrenia or bipolar I. [/quote]

Person with “Bipolar I” here. It’s actually not that difficult (for an experienced psychiatrist) to treat.[/quote]

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