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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Giving up on Gentle Parenting "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there something called intuitive parenting, where you don’t read books or blogs, and just set limits for your kids, tell them no when need be, and generally show them you care about them? I don’t care if people do time outs or sticker charts, or not, but I don’t understand feeling like you need to rigidly adhere to some “type” of parenting. [/quote] This is what I do and I think what my parents did and I think it works really well if you have a multi generational series of it working. But if you’re coming at parenting without a very good model for what good parenting looks like for the child you have it can be a lot harder to have a good sense of how to proportionately and appropriately address situations. Those are the people who look for (and write about I think) styles of parenting.[/quote] This. I've written about this on these boards before, but I think the audience for "gentle parenting" is people who were abused as kids, or at least raised by emotionally immature parents who were inconsistent and manipulative and didn't set a model that you can follow. I waited to have kids because of my own abusive/neglected childhood and being unsure I could break a long line of abusive parenting. I only had a kid when I felt confident I could, and I was immediately drawn to gentle parenting because it asserts that you can respond to your kid without yelling and hitting. I have never viewed it the way some on this thread seem too -- to me, it's just a WAY to set boundaries and discipline kids. Like you still set boundaries, have rules, have consequences, you just do it with emotional maturity that allows you to stay calm and not either lose your temper or give in to whatever your kid wants. I think gentle parenting would be hard if I hadn't spent so long developing my own emotional maturity, working on my relationship with my spouse so that we can properly support each other, and making sure that my own emotional needs are being met so I don't feel like it's too much. I take plenty of breaks and no how to tell my kid or my partner "hey, I need a minute to myself so I don't say or do something I will regret" and then actually taking it.[/quote]
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