Reply to DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well

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Reply to "DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everybody….this person is posting on DCUM, not Bumblef**k urban moms.

The DCUM demographic is primarily full pay for their kids’ college no matter what school they attend.

If my FIL puts $200k in my kid’s 529 that is a gift to me and my wife.  He just saved us $200k.  We would thank him profusely.  I don’t even know if I would tell my kid.

This is not the forum for OP to get much sympathy.[/quote]

Uh, what? It isn’t a gift to you, at all.  It is for your child. YOU aren’t obligated to pay for their college.  The only person with an obligation to pay for college is the one that wants to attend. You do know that plenty of kids go to college on their own dime, right?  Sometimes it is a case of parents didn’t save, sometimes parents don’t want to pay. [/quote]

Not in DCUM world.  That’s the point.[/quote]

Entitlement sucks but really if DCUM parents don’t pay, their kids are going to be stuck with massive student loan debt or going to community college (not the end of the world of course, but still). Those kids who go to a good state school on their own dime without massive debt don’t have parents who make 400K a year.

But yeah the kid was massively rude and should get a job/threatened with community college. [/quote]

Not saying they won’t have debt, but no one’s parents, no matter their income, are obligated to finance college.

They could enlist or do ROTC.  They could get a job, support their own living expenses, save up.  Or they can take out a bunch of loans.  Or they can work really hard and get scholarships.  Parents are not under any legal obligation to fund college.  If a parents feels a personal obligation to provide, then that is their own problem.  Grandpa’s money is still not for their benefit, rather, the child’s.  [/quote]

I don't disagree that parents aren't required to pay for their kids colleges, but what job do you think an 18 YO can get that will let them save up for college at today's prices (other than community college, but you didn't specify that).  Also, there are tight limits on the college loans that students themselves are eligible for.  Again, nowhere even approaching the cost per year of a 4 year college.

I do agree that the money in the 529 is a gift for the kid, though. [/quote]

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