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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Clearly people dont even understand what gentle parenting is (or supposed to be), no wonder it isnt working lol.

I love that parents who admit to yelling at their kids think they are superior to gentle-parenting. Yes, yes verbal abuse sounds much healthier! Congrats![/quote]

You do know there’s a middle ground, right? [b]Gentle parenting is letting the kids decide their bedtime letting their kid have ice cream instead of a healthy balanced dinner, giving their kid the lollipop when they demand it because you’re afraid to say no. Some of us can have boundaries and rules and be consistent about them without screaming at our kids.[/b]

Honestly I think gentle parenting is somewhat abusive…[b]you are leading your kid to build zero resilience, zero exposure to frustration, zero practice not getting their way[/b]—so real life hits and they will understandably not cope and then they’re blamed for being a bad kid or having some disability they don’t really have. [/quote]
I dont think you understand gentle parenting. Which is fine, but dont trash it if you clearly dont actually understand what it is or means. Especially the second bolded, is absolutely not true. [/quote]

So then tell me what your definition of gentle parenting is. Because I always assumed it was the permissive parent, the one that asks the kids to stop instead of tells them, and doesn’t actually stop them if they’re doing something they shouldn’t, they just stand there, talking. Give me an example of gentle parenting so I understand. And like I said, I don’t yell at my kids—I do listen to their feelings and needs, I just also have boundaries and they have consequences if behaviors persist. [/quote]

here is an example: 
https://visiblechild.com/2015/10/02/theres-no-trying-in-limit-setting/[/quote]

To me, this is authoritative parenting. You set the limits and you make sure it happens, but without yelling or punishments. It takes time, but you stick to your word. I’m the pp who you said didn’t understand gentle parenting. I think you and I just have different perspectives on it. To me….

Gentle parents let their kids not wash their hands at all because the kids say no and then the parents say they aren’t feeling ready for it and they don’t want to coerce their bodies to doing something they don’t want to do. Gentle parents let their kids just say “toilet words” because they tried to get them to stop, but can’t because they have no control over their kids so they tell themselves it’s okay because the kids are autonomous. Gentle parents don’t actually see how bad their kids are because they’re so used to it, but everyone else sees it. [/quote]

DP. It's obvious that you've just decided in your own head that gentle parenting refers to super peissive parenting and nothing anyone says will change your mind. People have provided numerous examples of gentle parenting advocacy that shows the advice is in line with authoritative parenting. Your response is just to make up examples. But can you find a single gentle parenting advocate who tells parents to let their kids not wash their hands or use "toilet words" all the time?

What brand of parenting did your parents use that kee you to believe that words can mean whatever you personally dictate they mean? [/quote]

I’m not that pp but I think what they mean is that this is what happens in reality, not what gentle parenting actually endorses. Gentle parenting is incredibly, horrifically exhausting. I DO hold those firm boundaries and calmly physically force my toddler to do essential things she doesn’t want to do ( hands washing, diaper change, etc). Your choices are endure a physical struggle and screaming while you “Help” a screaming, crying child 15-20 times a day or give up and avoid conflict and only do things you know your kid won’t fight because you dread the struggle (permissive parenting). I persevere but it’s very, very hard and involves gritting my teeth and smiling through tantrums literally all day long. I totally understand why parents aren’t up for it. Gentle parenting tells us kids will get with the program and stop tantruming over every no and every transition. Ya well some don’t. Ever. Gentle parenting has no answers for this.[/quote]

NP- I mean so what is the alternative to this? Screaming at a three year old? Explain how non gentle parenting strategies work better here. [/quote]

“If you’re too tired to behave, you’ll have to go to bed (or to your room).”

I’m a pretty regulated parent and I rarely yell. But it’s simply not true in my opinion that kids will stop tantruming as a result. I’ve gotten better results from the above script.

It’s not that I don’t empathize, as it is important. But sometimes in life you have to tolerate distress and stop with the screaming. [/quote]

Yeah this is a no with gentle parenting. I think I watched something just last week where Dr. Becky discussed time outs or being sent to their room. She said kids learn from that that they have to hide their real emotions because you can't tolerate anything but "good behavior" and that it causes more issues in the long run.

So screaming is out, spanking is out, time outs are out. Just expecting the parent to stay calm, happy and ask little larlo to stop doing something for the zillionth time that day. It makes for some really unenjoyable parenting. [/quote]

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