Reply to DW doesn’t understand how a sexless marriage effects me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have slipped into a sexless marriage and it is severely affecting me emotionally and mentally. Sex has always been important to me and she has always known that. The rejection and physical frustration weigh on my psyche and impact our relationship, my attitude at work, and my overall mood. She knows this and thinks I am being unreasonable and childish. I try to move on and set it aside as something that is just gone, like a deceased relative. But it doesn’t work that way and she just doesn’t get it. 
I wont leave her over it and will never cheat because I don’t want my DD to ever have to think of me as that kind of man. I’ve had opportunity but won’t do it. 
I’m just miserable and don’t want to be this way any longer. Most of all, I wish she understood and would discuss it without accusing me of being like a horny teen.  She doesn’t think sex is important after 40 or after kids. [/quote]

Jesus Christ. I relate to this post.

I am resentful of the “I could take it or leave it” blazé nature my wife has about something men need to feel connected in marriage. We typically have sex, at best, like once a week. I’m 45, if that helps.

Even then, it’s me initiating. It feels like a chore on her part. It wasn’t this way dating.

Part of me thinks this infrequency and low drive is due to myriad factors: manipulative control, part boredom, part lingering resentments that can’t be let go.

I am a good dad. Do half the chores and things she doesn’t want to do (so for all those chiming in that there is an emotional imbalance or inequitable duty split please don’t).

I wish women fundamentally understood how important physical connection is for men. I know “no one is entitled to anyone’s body”, but also that there is a reasonable expectation of semi frequent sex. For me that would be once a day lol, but I could style for twice a week. Anyway, it is what it is. It’s not a dead bedroom, but really she doesn’t hug me or touch me of her own volition. When we do have sex she is into it and comes. We have toys. It’s just so sporadic. Where are these wives that are clamoring for sex and desperate that post on here? Are you all real? Or are those troll posts? Women just seem to give much less of a fk about sex.

This is a tale as old as time. Nothing will change. Therapy is a fking expensive joke, when realistically if a partner wants the other they will show it. It’s something that I wish was more freely shared. It costs nothing and is so healthy.

Anyway, tear me apart! I mean the horror of what I said is an affront in this era I know. That there is some marital obligation to provide intimacy to your spouse.

[/quote]

Do you dress well? Groom? Exercise regularly? Keep fit with no beer gut, etc? Have a life?[/quote]

All of the above. Yes. I get both ends of this issue. I get people not being into it. But I also understand that is a biological need.

Honestly, Elon Musk is working on sex robots or whatever. At some point, the two sexes will probably decamp and just rely on each other for procreation and guys will just bang the cyborgs from Ex-Machina. Honestly, all men want is someone nice, low drama and attractive.

Women are eclipsing men anyway in education. Fking Gen Z men barely have sex as it is and are losing interest in dating. I kind of get it. They care more about their phones, like playing red dead redemption 2, lack of finances from underemployment.  Also, it’s a bum deal. Online dating has fked them into oblivion. Women want the “best” 10% of men anyway and have unreal expectations.

Women, in this brave new future, will be fine having a super great time talking to each other about Taylor Swift, clothes and what not. They won’t really need men. They won’t babysit them or constantly complain about them.

I guess we’ll see how it all pans out. The earth needs a lower population anyway. A future where men fk hot robots and women have great careers and nice jewelry seems like a win win for all.[/quote]

You think that a world where men fk hot robots instead of actual women is a win? I just cannot understand why your wife isn't tearing your clothes off every night. [/quote]

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