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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "Discipline for excessive crying"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You feel even more stressed because you’re doing this all day every day by being a stay at home mom, for dubious reasons at this point. You claim she is good for everyone else, then put her in a daycare. Maybe she will be happier around other kids her age as well. If she’s crying all day at home, I think it’s logical to let her go to daycare especially when you already established that she is well-behaved as long as she is not around you. It’s one thing if she gets kicked out of daycares and you had no choice but to stay home with her. But that is not the case here so I am perplexed as to why you keep on doing it. It also doesn’t sound like you’re financially struggling, so this whole thing is self inflicted. Why continue to let her stay at home all day with you when she’s obviously not happy because she’s crying all day? I have a kid who was a very very difficult infant. The type who cried all day and needed to be held all day and all night. I also quit my job to stay home with him. Even as he got older, he always needed my attention at all times. When he was around 18 months old I’ve had it, and decided I had to try daycare. I had avoided it for a long time because I was afraid he would get kicked out. Turns out he loved daycare. Never threw a tantrum there. I am told that he is among the most well-behaved child in his classes. He is much better now that he’s older. I think you should give it a try. [b]It’s unclear why you kept on staying at home with your child when you have admitted that she has a lot of behavior issues when she’s with you, and not with anyone else. That just doesn’t make any sense[/b]. [/quote] I think OP is reacting rationally. It’s normal to continue the status quo as opposed to something more extreme. A lot of SAHMs are strongly opposed to daycare and think it’s better for the child to stay at home no matter what. My neighbor won’t even go out to dinner with her spouse without the kids. No one can handle their three year old. I can only have a social life because I have easy children. [/quote] Your neighbor’s child does not have the same problem as OP’s child. OP said her kid is well behaved with sitters. So her child’s behavior with other caregivers is not the issue. It’s not normal to continue the status quo when everyone is unhappy. OP is frustrated, and the child is not happy. I get being self-sacrificing for your child, giving up your job & social life for your kid because you believe you are doing the best for them. That is reasonable when your kid is happy. The issue here is the child is NOT happy at all. She’s crying all day. And apparently only does this whenever she’s with 1 single person - mom. So what’s the point of being a stay at home mom here, what’s the point of continuing the status quo? What’s rational would be for the spouse to be a stay at home parent because the child apparently has no issues with them. The kid also doesn’t have any issues with the sitters. A former nanny quit but that was a long time ago according to OP. Another rational choice would be to hire a new nanny if she doesn’t want to use daycare. At this point, the child is behaving just fine as long as she’s not with the OP. So we can make a reasonable guess that the new nanny won’t have to quit her job due to behavior issues. What’s not rational is to recognize that the child only has all these behavior issues when she’s with mom and yet continue to make sure that mom is the only person around this child 7 days a week all day long. [/quote]
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