Reply to I’ve been rejected by a group of women and it’s hurts!

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "I’ve been rejected by a group of women and it’s hurts!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Quick question — do you actually fit in with the group? Think socioeconomic status and demographics.

Due to the rapid rise in home prices in the pandemic and severe time constraints (we had one month to find a place), we ended up buying in a neighborhood that has “arrived” and is expensive *now*, but is right on the edge of where the upper middle class area ends and the solidly middle class area begins. The neighborhood has a core of moms who moved here 5-10 years ago, however, when home prices here were literally half or even less than half the current price.

Fast forward 2 years and despite a lot of nice playdates and a couple of mom lunches, these women keep leaving me out and never invite me anywhere unless I invite them. I tortured myself over it for the first year until comments started to clue me in. One mom casually dropped in convo how much over asking we paid and that our home price set a record (that has since been beaten like 10 times over). Another mom keeps referencing that I’m a lawyer when I, myself, never bring it up. A different one just stares at my engagement ring to the point at which I tried to remove it before our kids had a playdate again, but I’ve gained weight and can’t get the dang thing off. :lol:

It finally hit me — most of these moms are SAHMs and the rare ones who work are receptionists, admin assistants, and such. Here I come waltzing in as part of the new crop of people who are highly educated UMC with disposable income and paying what are perceived to be outlandish sums for homes in the neighborhood (against my will, in my case). I’m also a multilingual immigrant with a British accent while they’re southern. Even though I’ve bent over backwards to befriend them, I’m just not their demographic and it’s clear they don’t feel comfortable around me. It doesn’t help that DH is a little snobby and makes zero effort to get to know anyone.

It hurts, but it is what it is. When interest rates get reasonable, we’re outta here. [/quote]

OMG. This is probably the grossest humble brag I've ever seen on DCUM. The reason they don't want you is not the reason you think. [/quote]
I can tell you’ve never been the demographic outlier. Class, educational, ethnic, and other differences sometimes matter more than we’d like. As DH pointed out, even the fact that I’m a Jewish woman who is also of color (and I mean unambiguous racial minority, not white-looking at all) is VERY odd around here. When one is as different from the norm in as many ways as I am in this area, it can matter to others in ways that all the personality and kindness in the world can’t overcome. I hope you’re never in the position to be the permanent odd out because of what you are, not who you are inside.[/quote]

This can happen with family too. I was the first to go to college and married someone with an ivy league ph.d.  My family all did apprenticeships and are qualified tradespeople, but not academics. My father told me last time he saw me that he just didn't get my husband. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics