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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No one put a gun to your head to move here. If you were so against it, you should have never married your significant other. [/quote]

It's her husband's fault of course.  She has no autonomy or choice.  It's all bad,don't you see, and she was forced into the situation by her misogynist husband and by the patriarchy.  She's just s feeble victim.  [/quote]

Ok.  I feel like I’m in the same situation.  I have a job that I can do pretty much anywhere and can support myself and my kids.  
I moved here expecting to be here only a couple of years, but now DH won’t move back.  
He’s told me that if I take the kids and leave he will divorce me, fight me for custody, and make the kids’ lives miserable.

What are my options?  I feel like I have no autonomy.

[/quote]

You have to separate out you leaving from you "taking the kids" with you.  Second woman who has made that assumption.   You have the absolute right to leave the marriage and live wherever you please.  You don't have any right to remove the kids from their home.  Obviously you could fight it out in court but why are you assuming you could automatically "take the kids"?  Because you're the woman?  This isn't the 1950s.

Has he literally told you he will make the kids lives miserable?  Or did you throw that in there to demonize him?

No reason the kids lives will be miserable.  You want to leave, then leave. You or he files for divorce.  Guess what?  It's very unlikely any judge is going to order that school age children will have to leave their existing home just because mommy is bored of her life and going through a mid life crisis.

But as you said you can do your job anywhere.  Go do that, and send the child support checks to your ex husband, who will be the custodial parent.  No need to fight over anything.  What your husband told you is you have no right to leave the home AND take the children with you, and he is absolutely right about that.  You are borderline delusional and very entitled to think otherwise, so some therapy might be a good idea before you take any life changing steps.[/quote]

The husband is delusional if he thinks he can be selfish and ignore that his wife is unhappy. There is no future for their relationship if he is not willing to compromise. [/quote]

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