Reply to WWYD? Being asked NOT to bring a new spouse and children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure if this is "right", but:

If the gathering is you, your children, your parents and your nieces and nephews - the new wife and her children aren't really of the same "family". They can gather with her family, also the family of the step kids.

I think when you break apart a family you have to prepare for such things. So I guess I'd rather have the nieces and nephews present, than the brother + new wife + new fam. [/quote]

The grandparents are hosting their kids (including the dad in this story) and their grandkids (the college boys in this story). You can’t really think they’re going to say their son isn’t welcome because he got divorced 5 years ago and his college aged kids don’t want his new wife there. Merry Christmas?[/quote]

Meh. If my son blows up his family to the extent that his children want nothing to do with his new wife, he needs to face the consequences of his actions. I wouldn’t ditch my grandchildren so I could spend holidays with kids I just met. And realistically, 2nd marriages are even more likely to end in divorce, so these kids I just met could easily be out of my life in a few years time.

This is tough love.

If son blows up his life, he needs to do the work to fix it. I’m not going to shield him from his choices by pretending that I have the same relationship with stepkids I just met as my grandchildren who I’ve known their entire lives.

Come on.

[/quote]

This x100000[/quote]

This. You can coerce them to call each other "brother" and "sister", but don't think they like it, and don't think the rest of the family is going to hop in line so easily. We all know this would go poof if you divorced, and we don't feel like we have to cater to you just because you got divorced and remarried. [/quote]

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