Reply to Would you pay 200K for a baby that isn't biologically yours?

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Reply to "Would you pay 200K for a baby that isn't biologically yours?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I would not for a variety of reasons personal to my family, but I don’t think a baby born from donor eggs using a surrogate is any more her baby than one that is adopted or less than one she conceived and carried without intervention.

Seven. Seven rounds of IVF. My heart breaks reading that and I am sure the total was much more than $200k all in. But the toll on the body and psyche of anyone who goes through that is astronomical.

I think it’s important to set limits and then stick to them. For our first we decided we would not use donor sperm or eggs, that we would do 3 rounds of IVF or $100k and then we would stop and go to therapy before pursuing foster care or adoption. I did 2 surgeries, 3 IUIs, and 1 round of IVF.

For our 2nd, we had 7 embryos frozen. We knew we would be ok with an only child, so our limit was to use the embryos we had and then move on if we were not successful.

Reading IF message boards for years, I can totally understand how people get caught up in  chasing a certain outcome at the expense of their physical and mental well being and their marriage/finances. I am thankful that we don’t have any lingering PTSD from our relatively easy IF journey. I can’t imagine what your friend and so many other posters have been through. I hope they have made the best decisions for their situation.

There is so much you cannot control OP. I get the impulse to blame or judge other choices, especially if you are early in your journey. You want to believe it will somehow be different for you. Figure out your limits and stick to them. That’s all you can do. [/quote]

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