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Childcare other than Daycare and Preschool
Reply to "If you're anti-nanny but both you and your partner WOH, could you please explain why?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] More parents should start thinking more about what’s best for their child, and less about what’s most convenient for them. The earliest years of life are the very foundation for the rest of your child’s entire life. This isn’t the time to skimp on costs if neither the parents nor extended family is willing/available to do the important work of infant/ toddler care. Stability, competence and love are all critical. [/quote] Stability, competence and love are not unique to nannies, au pairs, and at home parents / family. Some nannies are not very good and some daycares are amazing. [/quote] And adding on to my comment - grandparents may be loving and well intentioned, but the vast majority of them have nothing on the energy and current knowledge infant / toddler safety and development of a 25yr old with a degree in early childhood education and a preschool full of safe spaces with tons of age appropriate toys and playground equipment. I felt 1000% better with my kids on a fully fenced and alarmed preschool playground with proper adult ratios than imagining my 73yr old mother breaking a hip chasing my 2yr old if he decided to bolt from a public park towards a parking lot or road. [/quote] Not everybody waits until they’re 100 to have kids and ends up with a 73 year old grandmother taking care of a 2 year old. When I’m 73, the grandkids I already have will be 21, 18 and 14. And before you write me off as an uneducated teenaged mother, I have a masters degree and so do all of my kids. [/quote] I think this response is a really great example as to how everyone’s personal circumstances are different. There isn’t one right fit for everyone. [/quote] People who are young grandparents are usually still working and not able to provide full time childcare. However I didn’t mean to quibble with other people’s family planning timeline. The main point is that many people seem to presume a single individual, whether nanny, au pair, or family member, providing one on one care is preferable to any other arrangement. That is what I disagree with. We can afford a nanny and live walking distance to more than one park and a pool. I just don’t think 1:1 care is the best option - even if it’s a mom, even if it were me. Even the best parents, family members, and nannies need breaks, get sick, and get bored. I think children are best served by having a team of caregivers for variety and socialization - that’s why even sahm use part-day preschool. So I am not “anti-nanny” as OP phrased it, I am pro-group care.[/quote] Yea this is really good. You work because you think your kid is better off in day care than in your care, and you think that day care is better than any care that any loving family member alone can provide - even a young grandmother who loves her grandkids like her own. Me thinks you’re in the minority here - and that you’re kidding (really, lying to) yourself. [/quote] DP. My mother is a highly educated professional who works with children. But if she was my daily babysitter she would stick my kid in front of the TV and feed her Lunchables. And then guilt-trip me if I complained because the childcare is "free." Our daycare does a way better job.[/quote] You can pay family members you know? I have a friend whose kid goes to “nanacare” with his cousins and both sets of parents pay their mom a bit below home daycare rates in our area. I really think they have the best setup but sadly my mom is too far away and has too many other commitments (my dad has health issues) for this to work in my family. To OP’s question: I find it easier to trust the bureaucracy of daycare than my own ability to sufficiently do a background check and supervise a nanny. I don’t know if I’m who your question is aimed at because I think nannies can be great and I totally understand why other people prefer them they’re just not personally right for me.[/quote]
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