Reply to How do married people find the random time to cheat?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“The gym”- go bang in a hotel nearby.  Or on WAH day when he “had to run into the office for an hour or so” (aka  her house).

She didn’t work and had kids in school so house was free and she had all the time in the world when husband was at work.[/quote]

Doesn't the other spouse see the credit card bill with the hotel charges on it?[/quote]

I found a hotel charge on a bill he left on the table at home.  [b]The spouse of the woman also found me online and wrote me.[/b][/quote]

This is great!  Did you get the whole story? Did you meet the spouse? [/quote]

his wife slid in his DMs catching up with an old friend
they had apparently talked online a few times over the years and her first child's name is a play on his name but no it isn't his kid, she had two daughters with her spouse 
she'd call him and vent about her husband and marriage, I imagine he vented also about ours
He had introduced me to or told me about most significant female friends except for this one
During Covid (pre-vaccines when everyone was freaking out and there were lots of deaths) they started meeting for lunch.  His job was essential worker so he was still going to work.  
I heard him arguing one night on phone with some man but didn't ask any questions.
The next day I got emails on work and personal accounts and a FB message request that I didn't find until much later.
He warned me they had been meeting for lunches and thought I should know so I could get Covid test.
I checked phone records which I had never done before and the numbers matched up to numbers the spouse had given me to call if I wanted to talk
I waited a couple days and mentioned that I had been contacted.   He admitted and said he'd cease contact before it became something more than lunch and phone calls and texts.
We did therapy but he was still connecting with her during it so he was checked out of therapy and not doing the work
A few months into therapy and about 4 months after being busted about the lunches is when they had the cheap motel rendezvous.
I saw the bill the month after they hooked up
Had the chat that I saw the bill and he apologizes and goes into this thing about how he could barely perform because of guilt (which explains the supplements hat he ordered the day after the motel date).  TMI 
I reached out to the husband and mentioned they had hooked up now.  We had a nice talk.  He shared some stuff that I told him about my husband on that call with his wife and she of course told my husband and he had the nerve to be upset that I shared that he was broke and I was carrying the household as breadwinner.    
The husband moved out and filed for divorce.  She is a secretary.  I'm sure it was an ego stroke to have the attention of someone less accomplished than he was that dissed him in younger years because she didn't think he was going anywhere in life.  Now he could flex on her how she should have picked him instead back then, he has a masters albeit low paying job.  I would have at least hoped she was attractive but she wasn't.  It was more that it was someone from his past that he didn't have to finesse or put effort into that gave him easy access that was looking for an escape from her own marital situation and listened and stroked the ego of a guy who struggles with not feeling successful in life.
I wasn't surprised about the affair because he was distant and absent in our marriage which lead to it being strained and disconnected.[/quote]

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